No, this is not a review of the Chris Farley film. This is a New Zealand film about killer sheep. Yeah you read that right. And shockingly, I found it to be a fun, gory little movie in the spirit of old Peter Jackson films.
The plot is super basic which may be the worst thing about the film: genetic engineering has turned sheep into these murderous creatures and the government is trying to cover it up. Think Jaws, Alligator, Piranha, yeah you know the drill. But instead of an animal that is actually scary, they come up with sheep. The idea of killer sheep is pretty funny and it was wise for the film makers to keep it silly but at the same time, treat it like an actual horror film. And to my surprise the film works despite the predictable premise.
Director Jonathan King borrows heavily from Peter Jackson's earlier films like Bad Taste and Braindead, using hand held camera work, shooting on grainy film, and of course keeping the tone very light but filled with disgusting graphic effects. Even Weta who did the effects for Lord of the Rings was brought on to do this film. The killer sheep do look great and the man-sheep monsters are really good. There is even one transformation scene that is almost lifted out of An American Wedrewolf in London. Blood flows freely in Black Sheep and we get plenty of it. Limbs hacked off, throats ripped out, intestines pulled out, and my favorite: a sheep rips off one guy's manhood.
If you like your horror/comedies with an extra amount of blood and you don't mind the heavy accents of the New Zealand actors, Black Sheep is worth a look but it isn't for everyone.
Man of a Thousand Faces
The great Lon Chaney from London After Midnight
Oct 19, 2010
I MISSED A DAY!
I tried...really. But alas, I miss Monday October 18th. I went to work and went to the Chicago Blackhawks game with my in-laws and wife and it went in OT. By the time I got home and said good bye to everyone, it was 11 pm. I climbed into the spare room bed so not to wake up Michelle and flicked thru my DVR trying to find the shortest possible horror film and I must have passed out or something because next thing I knew the wife was waking me up at 5:00 this morning to get ready for work. I apologize but I don't know if anyone even reads these so maybe I am safe.
Oct 17, 2010
October 17th - SAW VI (2009)
Getting ready for the upcoming (and supposedly final) Saw film, I was finally able to watch 2009's Saw VI. This is the only Saw film that I didn't get a chance to see in the theater and it is also the lowest grossing of all the Saw films. It also happens to be one of the best in the series.
To set the record straight, I think the Saw films are silly and filled with some bad acting and annoying editing tricks that can cause epilepsy. However, as the series went along I noticed the films seemed to have gotten better and I got sucked into the story and characters. What I also like is that all the films link together and are legit sequels and not a sequel by name only. So yeah I like the Saw films but I know they aren't works of art. I wouldn't even recommend this series to people since these films are like eating apple pie with melted cheese on the top. It's an aquired taste.
Saw VI picks up right after the fifth film ended and Det. Hoffman is still the mastermind behind the killings. At Jigsaw's request via his will, Hoffman is given instruction to kidnap certain people that Jigsaw would like to be forced to play a game with. He selects a man who works for a health insurance agency who denied Jigsaw insurance when he was diagnosed with cancer. While this story is going on, we also see Hoffman trying desperately not to be caught by his fellow officers. Both stories work well and of course there are flashbacks and references to numerous Saw films that surprisngly work well and fit perfectly into the timeline of this series.
For gorehounds, I am happy to report that Saw VI doesn't skimp on the grue. Bodies explode, people get burned, limbs are cut off, people are stabbed or shot, and one character gets acid poured inside him. All done with...drum roll....ACTUAL PRACTICAL EFFECTS! That's right, the CGI that started to get used in parts IV and V are gone and some really nasty gore effects are on display here.
While I still think Saw III is the best in the series, VI is up there as one of the best entries. I look forward to Saw 3-D.
To set the record straight, I think the Saw films are silly and filled with some bad acting and annoying editing tricks that can cause epilepsy. However, as the series went along I noticed the films seemed to have gotten better and I got sucked into the story and characters. What I also like is that all the films link together and are legit sequels and not a sequel by name only. So yeah I like the Saw films but I know they aren't works of art. I wouldn't even recommend this series to people since these films are like eating apple pie with melted cheese on the top. It's an aquired taste.
Saw VI picks up right after the fifth film ended and Det. Hoffman is still the mastermind behind the killings. At Jigsaw's request via his will, Hoffman is given instruction to kidnap certain people that Jigsaw would like to be forced to play a game with. He selects a man who works for a health insurance agency who denied Jigsaw insurance when he was diagnosed with cancer. While this story is going on, we also see Hoffman trying desperately not to be caught by his fellow officers. Both stories work well and of course there are flashbacks and references to numerous Saw films that surprisngly work well and fit perfectly into the timeline of this series.
For gorehounds, I am happy to report that Saw VI doesn't skimp on the grue. Bodies explode, people get burned, limbs are cut off, people are stabbed or shot, and one character gets acid poured inside him. All done with...drum roll....ACTUAL PRACTICAL EFFECTS! That's right, the CGI that started to get used in parts IV and V are gone and some really nasty gore effects are on display here.
While I still think Saw III is the best in the series, VI is up there as one of the best entries. I look forward to Saw 3-D.
Oct 16, 2010
October 16th - TWICE TOLD TALES (1963)
Ahh, I have returned to the anthology film. It's still one of my favorite types of movies and Vincent Price was in many back in the 1960's. He and Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing were in numerous horror anthology films. Most would be based on either Edger Allen Poe or H.P. Lovecraft stories. This time I have watched Twice Told Tales based on the works by Nathaniel Hawthorne.
There are three short tales of suspense and mystery. The first is "Dr. Heidegger's Experiment" about two old friends who dabble in the black arts to regain their youth. The second is "Rappacini's Daughter" about a mad scientist who has conducted an evil experiment on his own daughter. The last one is "House of the Seven Gables" about a family curse.
The problem with this film is that the first two stories are pretty bland. Think of the weakest episodes of Twilight Zone or Amazing Stories and that is what you get with the first two stories. The first one is especially boring which makes little sense to me since you would want a more action oriented tale to suck the viewer in. The second tale is more predictable, thus making the film dull. It doesn't help that the acting by the main hero downright sucks in this. The last story is by far the best but only because it is more of a horror story set in a haunted house. Price is especially good here playing a villian.
I didn't dislike the film but I wouldn't really recommend it either. The trailer to the movie shows almost the entire film and it's best parts. Maybe watch that instead.
There are three short tales of suspense and mystery. The first is "Dr. Heidegger's Experiment" about two old friends who dabble in the black arts to regain their youth. The second is "Rappacini's Daughter" about a mad scientist who has conducted an evil experiment on his own daughter. The last one is "House of the Seven Gables" about a family curse.
The problem with this film is that the first two stories are pretty bland. Think of the weakest episodes of Twilight Zone or Amazing Stories and that is what you get with the first two stories. The first one is especially boring which makes little sense to me since you would want a more action oriented tale to suck the viewer in. The second tale is more predictable, thus making the film dull. It doesn't help that the acting by the main hero downright sucks in this. The last story is by far the best but only because it is more of a horror story set in a haunted house. Price is especially good here playing a villian.
I didn't dislike the film but I wouldn't really recommend it either. The trailer to the movie shows almost the entire film and it's best parts. Maybe watch that instead.
Oct 15, 2010
October 15th - THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (2009)
It's one thing to make a really sick and controversal film. It's another thing to make a boring, sick controversal film. The Human Centipede falls in the later.
When two American female travellers in Germany blow a tire in a storm, they take refuge at a surgeons house for shelter. Little do they know, they are about to be put into a bizarre and gross experiment and turned into a human centipede. I won't go into detail in how the doctor does it but the concept is kind of fascinating and very gross and unintentionally funny. However it is executed poorly.
The film just drags on and on and gets boring real quick. The acting by the two women is downright terrible and their dialogue almost looks made up on the spot. Although the doctor (who looks like Lance Henriksen) is played well by Dieter Laser, we really don't know much about him and why he's doing this. What makes the film even more dull is that writer/producer/director Tom Six doesn't really have much to say other than, "Hey wouldn't it be gross if these three people were combined together?" My friend Nick nailed it I think when he said that Six is a good producer but bad director. His writing and directing is just down right bland and amaturish.
I guess The Human Centipede is worth checking out if you want to be grossed out but even for die hard horror fans like myself that has seen films like Nekromantik or the Guinea Pig movies, the film is kind of tame. I wasn't disturbed or horrified watching this one, I was fighting to stay awake.
When two American female travellers in Germany blow a tire in a storm, they take refuge at a surgeons house for shelter. Little do they know, they are about to be put into a bizarre and gross experiment and turned into a human centipede. I won't go into detail in how the doctor does it but the concept is kind of fascinating and very gross and unintentionally funny. However it is executed poorly.
The film just drags on and on and gets boring real quick. The acting by the two women is downright terrible and their dialogue almost looks made up on the spot. Although the doctor (who looks like Lance Henriksen) is played well by Dieter Laser, we really don't know much about him and why he's doing this. What makes the film even more dull is that writer/producer/director Tom Six doesn't really have much to say other than, "Hey wouldn't it be gross if these three people were combined together?" My friend Nick nailed it I think when he said that Six is a good producer but bad director. His writing and directing is just down right bland and amaturish.
I guess The Human Centipede is worth checking out if you want to be grossed out but even for die hard horror fans like myself that has seen films like Nekromantik or the Guinea Pig movies, the film is kind of tame. I wasn't disturbed or horrified watching this one, I was fighting to stay awake.
Oct 14, 2010
October 14th - CHILDREN OF THE DAMNED (1964)
Being a huge fan of the original Village of the Damned, I was excited to finally see this sequel. I have owned the DVD for years now and wasn't sure what was holding me back from seeing it. Although it is worth a look, Children seems to be lacking something and is a subpar sequel.
Maybe it's because this really isn't a sequel but more of a re-telling. A bunch of intelligent children from around the world are gathered in London by scientists and psychologists for study. But soon they all escape from their embassy's and gather in an abandoned church to be with one another and stay safe. When the military is brought in, the children put their powers of mind control to use.
I really enjoyed the opening as the main child Paul is introduced. He is a quiet and yet intelligent kid and when his mother is confronted about her son, she later cries and screams at Paul saying how much she hates him and what he's done to her. This is a really tense and almost disturbing scene, thus never showing or telling us what he did to his mother. But as the film goes along, the kids are soon portrayed as victims and the film gets bogged down with political undetones, throwing away the good old fashion suspense and horror that we got from the original film. Don't bore me with messages and politics! Keep that shit out of my horror movies.
For some reason, the sequel abandons the idea of the kids growing at a rabid state and that they all have white hair. Aside form their glowing eyes, no mention at all of the original film or how these kids came about (especially since they all got blown up at the end of the original).
But I will say the direction is well done and the film isn't bad by any means. It is just kind of plain and the horror is watered down this time around. When asked why the children are here, they answer, "We don't know." That was a good sign that this film didn't know either what it wanted to be.
Maybe it's because this really isn't a sequel but more of a re-telling. A bunch of intelligent children from around the world are gathered in London by scientists and psychologists for study. But soon they all escape from their embassy's and gather in an abandoned church to be with one another and stay safe. When the military is brought in, the children put their powers of mind control to use.
I really enjoyed the opening as the main child Paul is introduced. He is a quiet and yet intelligent kid and when his mother is confronted about her son, she later cries and screams at Paul saying how much she hates him and what he's done to her. This is a really tense and almost disturbing scene, thus never showing or telling us what he did to his mother. But as the film goes along, the kids are soon portrayed as victims and the film gets bogged down with political undetones, throwing away the good old fashion suspense and horror that we got from the original film. Don't bore me with messages and politics! Keep that shit out of my horror movies.
For some reason, the sequel abandons the idea of the kids growing at a rabid state and that they all have white hair. Aside form their glowing eyes, no mention at all of the original film or how these kids came about (especially since they all got blown up at the end of the original).
But I will say the direction is well done and the film isn't bad by any means. It is just kind of plain and the horror is watered down this time around. When asked why the children are here, they answer, "We don't know." That was a good sign that this film didn't know either what it wanted to be.
Oct 13, 2010
October 13th - SUCK (2010)
Perfect title.
After a struggling rock band's (I use "rock" loosly since the music this band makes is that modern new rock that is made for pussies and homos) manger leaves them, the female of the band decides to not stay with her bandmates but chooses to stay the night with a stranger. Well, this stranger turns out to be a rock n roll vampire! Before you can say "cool style man" the entire band has been transformed into a new cool rock band that can float while playing. They just have a problem with killing a few people along the way to their next gig.
Yeah, the film is as bad as it sounds. Why did I bother? There are numerous cameos by actually good musicians such as Iggy Pop, Henry Rollins and one of my personal favorites Alice Cooper. Even Malcolm McDowell has a smaller role as Eddie Van Helsing, a vampire killer who has his own personal vendetta with the vampires. None of these celebrities is worth sitting through this 90 minute horror/comedy. This is just painful to watch.
The "comedy" is down right bad and cheesy. Nothing is funny and I can almost hear the non existent laugh track pause when certain characters speak. The main vampire looks like a black haired Carrot Top and he occasionally busts into a few songs out of nowhere, when he's not walking in slow motion of course. I guess they were trying to pad out the running time. I would have shut this off or fast forward the film if it wasn't for this blog. I will admit, I couldn't take the musical numbers after awhile and slammed my finger on that FF button every time music started to kick in. One thing I hate is a bad horror film. But what I hate even more are horror/comedy/musicals. Adding those three genres together is like adding mustard to your steak.
Chalk it up to just another shitty vampire film. I need to watch Martin or Near Dark to remember a time when vampire movies were decent.
After a struggling rock band's (I use "rock" loosly since the music this band makes is that modern new rock that is made for pussies and homos) manger leaves them, the female of the band decides to not stay with her bandmates but chooses to stay the night with a stranger. Well, this stranger turns out to be a rock n roll vampire! Before you can say "cool style man" the entire band has been transformed into a new cool rock band that can float while playing. They just have a problem with killing a few people along the way to their next gig.
Yeah, the film is as bad as it sounds. Why did I bother? There are numerous cameos by actually good musicians such as Iggy Pop, Henry Rollins and one of my personal favorites Alice Cooper. Even Malcolm McDowell has a smaller role as Eddie Van Helsing, a vampire killer who has his own personal vendetta with the vampires. None of these celebrities is worth sitting through this 90 minute horror/comedy. This is just painful to watch.
The "comedy" is down right bad and cheesy. Nothing is funny and I can almost hear the non existent laugh track pause when certain characters speak. The main vampire looks like a black haired Carrot Top and he occasionally busts into a few songs out of nowhere, when he's not walking in slow motion of course. I guess they were trying to pad out the running time. I would have shut this off or fast forward the film if it wasn't for this blog. I will admit, I couldn't take the musical numbers after awhile and slammed my finger on that FF button every time music started to kick in. One thing I hate is a bad horror film. But what I hate even more are horror/comedy/musicals. Adding those three genres together is like adding mustard to your steak.
Chalk it up to just another shitty vampire film. I need to watch Martin or Near Dark to remember a time when vampire movies were decent.
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